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This group, which includes several ethnicities, has been “othered” through racist immigration and naturalization policies that lasted until 1965 and cost people their homes, jobs, and freedom.” Given that the original inhabitants of the country weren’t white, the very first “settlers” of America were Hispanic, and that Chinese were among the first immigrants to the country, the idea that somehow these ethnicities are different from the mainstream, or not as American, is grating to many.For Asian Americans in particular, these assumptions of foreignness have been especially damaging. There is an excellent article in Citylab that delves further into the problems with the question, “where are you from?” I quote: “When directed towards minorities, the veiled question assumes foreignness. “My parents are from India, but I was born and brought up here,” she replies.
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“No, but where are you really from?” she’s asked. Yet, everywhere she goes, people ask her: “Where are you from?” “Boston,” she replies. Her passport says “USA” but more importantly, her mind, soul and heart say the same. She watches no Indian shows and cannot cook any Indian food. She’s been to India only a couple of times, to visit family. Pia, has lived her entire life in Boston. To elucidate the point further, take the example of say someone born to ethnically Indian parents in the US. I don’t look Indian in the conventional sense of the term, so curiosity seeks to typecast me in a neat nationality, whether I identify with it or not.
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The question is loaded with subtexts of appearance. The person in question, however, finds my answer “America” entirely acceptable, even though I’ve spent a collective total of four years (of my almost thirty) in that country. As evident in the exchange above, no one is ever satisfied with my response evoking London, New Delhi, Milan et al… all cities that I have spent a formative part of my life in and have called home at some time or the other. The problem with “where are you from?” is more in the answer that is expected than the question itself.
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The sad part is, many people will not even realise what’s so terribly wrong with the exchange that I have reproduced above. Person I just met: No, no but y’know, where you live in Delhi makes all the difference… you don’t want to be stuck in Noida or something (laughs). Person I just met: And where do you live? Person I just met: (Satisfied with my answer) Oh cool. Well, my parents are American though I’ve spent most of my life outside of America. Person I just met: Okay, but where are you really from? I’ve lived in London, New Delhi, Milan, Mumbai, Vienna and LA. Person I just met: So, where are you from? You’d think it’s perfectly acceptable, in the name of knowing more about the person you’re engaging with, to ask any/all of the above questions. NEW DELHI: Ever since I moved to New Delhi, the three questions - whether I am at a work event or meeting, at a party or date - that I inevitably get asked are:Īll three questions seem innocuous at first glance.